There is nothing that pisses a stoner like drug tests. Whether you deliberately use drugs or indirectly consume THC from CBD oil, you would not want to be caught. Testing positive in a drug test may deny you your dream job or hurt your reputation. Therefore, you will be looking for a way to evade the harsh consequences of testing positive in a drug test.
There are a couple of techniques stoners use to dodge the mischief brought by urinalysis. Some people use detox drinks to cleanse their bodies, which is not healthy in the long run. Others resolve to apply for the urine of their friends who do not smoke. This method can only be effective in testing facilities that do not carry out intensive inspection.
Also, most testing facilities are aware of cheating in a drug test. So, they will only allow a single person to enter the urinal room. Using another person’s urine is risky because it cools very fast. The administrators measure the temperature to determine if it is fake or borrowed. This leaves stoners with only one effective way to pass a drug test. And it is the use of synthetic or fake urine.
Synthetic urine is the industrial piss that mimics the chemical and physical properties of real human pee. You should understand that not all types of synthetic urine are the same. The market has a variety of synthetic urine products. You can get fake urine in powder form or solution form.
The powdered synthetic urine involves mixing water and then warming while the solution urine is ready for use after heating.
It has become hard for new synthetic urine users to find a product that is handy and reliable to them. This is because there are very many products out there. Some are legit, while others are just gimmicks and do not work. However, there are specific synthetic urine brands that stand out from the rest. One of these brands is Monkey Dong.
What is Monkey Dong?
Monkey Dong is a full package synthetic urine product that is quite different from the rest. Serious Monkey Bizzness is the manufacturer behind this amazing product for passing a drug test. Monkey Dong includes a urinating device and fake urine.
Most of the synthetic brands out there only develop synthetic urine, a carrier, and a warming pad. They do not give an option in places where supervision is intense. The product allows even a nervous stoner to get some guts, which reduces any kind of suspicion during the submission of the sample.
The Monkey Dong is designed to help you handle the exercise with the highest standards.
Generally, the device inside the package contains synthetic urine made using cutting-edge technology to meet the industry needs. Always remember that most laboratories do the test for the ingredients in your urine. As long as there is a balance of ingredients in your urine formulation, you are certain of passing the test. This is regardless of the technology the administrator uses during the analysis. Monkey dong lab-grade urine contains the correct amount of urea, creatinine, and uric acid. Its smell, pH, and color are also similar to that of real human urine.
Monkey Dong Urination Device
The monkey dong urination device is the most genuine synthetic urine device that is affordable right now. This device uses a still technique that delivers a real human urination experience. Serious Monkey Bizzness’s premium laboratory urine gets delivered into the sample with a pinch of a prosthetic penis. Their penises come in 6 live-like colors to meets the needs of all stoners regardless of their skin colors.
You use one hand to pinch the tip of the Monkey dong urinating device to deliver more than 3.5 ounces of pee.
The Monkey dongs have an elastic belt that can fit even a 54″ waist. One outstanding thing about the Monkey dong urinating device is that you can use it over and over again. With their clean synthetic urine, not even an experienced drug test administrator can tell the difference from real urine.
What Makes Monkey Dong Special?
What makes this product the most admirable in the market is its high-quality strap-on urination device. It is also extremely affordable, considering the immense benefits it offers. It is way better than even a Quick fix because it only comes to a vial, which makes it hard to pour the sample in a supervised facility.
Monkey Bizzness is not only “clean pee” but is also considering other aspects like the temperature, smell, pH, foam, and urine, and dick color. The fake dick has a silent valve, and it is leak proof. Monkey Dong takes in to account all the vital aspects, not to mention its prices.
Monkey Dong is, no doubt, the leading fake penis brand on the market. It is almost realistic, its urine is lab grade, and it is affordable. Here are the main reasons why you should go to Monkey Dong instead of other brands.
- Easy to use
- Offer a rainbow of penises
- Clear instructions
- Silent valve and leakproof urinator
Main features of Monkey Dong
Honestly, there is no single product that beats monkey dong in the synthetic urine industry. It is one of the most versatile formulas right now. It has almost everything that human urine has except the DNA attributes. The developer does not use biocides like others do to keep their urine fresh.
Real urine supports the growth of bacteria. Most drug test technicians are using this method to tell if the urine is real or fake. Monkey dong sterilizes theirs so that it grows bacteria just like real human piss. Here are all the things that makeup monkey dong:
- Correct uric acid
- Exact urine smell
- Correct liquid color
- Spot on foaming
- Correct pH
- Specific gravity
- Leakproof to avoid premature discharge of the formula
- Reliable temperature strips with easily read numbers
- Realistic prosthetic penis (Comes in different skin tones)
- Belts can accommodate up to a 52” waist)
- Heat pads that run at the body temperature
- Self-adhesive heat pads
- An internal silent squeezing valve (you can operate it using one hand)
What is Inside the Kit?
From the above explanation, you can see that Monkey Dong is a complete product that is meant to help stoners pass all types of drug tests. Even if the administrator supervises you closely, they will not detect anything weird because the kit comes with a fake dick that has the same color as your skin tone. Here are the main things you should get in an original Monkey Dong product.
- A vial of dried synthetic lab-grade Monkey Urine. You should mix it with 3oz of clean water to give it some attributes as real human pee. Always use the instruction given when mixing.
- An elastic urinating strap-on device. Their prosthetic penises come in six different colors to suit different races. The device has a urine bag and an elastic strap on a belt that fits up to a 54-inch.
- Temperature strip that you will use to register urine temperature that ranges around 94-96F
- One refill syringe for transferring the Monkey Dong synthetic urine from the cup and into the urinating device
- Four self-adhering heat packs.
Why buy from the official online store
There are many fraudsters on the internet. They are always taking advantage of unnoticing customers and exploiting them by selling them Monkey dong gimmick products. You need to be aware of this fact. Make sure you buy from verified online retailers. The best way to get the Monkey Dong urination device plus premium lab grade synthetic urine is through the online Serious Monkey Bizzness store. Here are the benefits of buying from their official store.
- You will get the best customer services
- 800 number on the original monkey dong box
- No credit card fraud
- Privacy protection
- They offer discrete shipping
- The is secure shopping on their online store
- Affordable prices and discounts!
- You will enjoy same-day shipping
How to use the Monkey Dong
The product comes with detailed instructions. Make sure you follow the instructions step by step to avoid mistakes that could cost you a job and reputation. Here are the guidelines for preparing dehydrated monkey dong urine and submitting it for analysis in a drug testing facility.
- Release its external safety valve of the urinator.
- Follow the set of instructions to prepare dehydrated monkey dong urine in a cup.
- The package instructions require you to mix the entire 3oz vial with 90 – 100mL of water. Mix properly until all the urine solutes dissolve homogeneously.
- Transfer the urine using a clean syringe into the Monkey Dong carrying bag. Close the cap and the safety valve to avoid the generation of bacteria.
- Get rid of the urine bag from the waist belt. Hold on for an hour or so before the actual test. Apply the self-adhering heat pack to the urine bag, and on the other side, but the temperature strip. Monkey Dong’s heat pack can maintain body temperature for eight hours.
- Attach the bag to the elastic belt and wrap it around your waist. Make sure that you strap the urine bag directly to your body to maintain its temperature to that of the body.
- Make sure the temperature strip reads 92 – 98 degrees Fahrenheit. It takes about an hour.
- When you are ready for the test, open the safety valve, confirm the temperature again (do not submit urine sample that is not within the 90 – 102 degrees Fahrenheit range)
- Using one hand squeeze the tip of the Monkey dong prosthetic penis and start dispensing the fake urine carefully into the sample collection cup.
Does Monkey Dong work?
Every male stoner should be happy because now they have a real deal penis that oozes clean urine for passing drug tests. It also has all the natural elements of real human pee. Furthermore, it is cheap than most brands that claim the same top spot in the fake urine industry. Its silent dispensing valve allows you to release the fake piss into the sample cup without being suspected. The success rate of the product is overwhelmingly amazing, unlike most products. Therefore, this product works just like Whizzinator and Quick fix urine, which is the main competitor.
The fake urine that comes out of the Monkey Dong mimics almost all attributes of real human urine except the DNA. Always follow the instructions if you passing the test will help you to dodge the harsh consequences of the corporate world. Also, remember that you submit a sample that has the normal body temperature (94-96 degrees Fahrenheit) to avoid suspicion from the test administrator.
Original dehydrated Monkey Urine is fresh up to a year before it expires. You should not expose it to the environment before submitting it because it has a sterilizer, which makes it develop bacteria just like human urine. Once you mix it with water, make sure you submit it within 24 hours.
If your main goal is to pass a drug test, then do not hesitate to use Monkey Dong. The kit has everything that will enable you to pass an intensely supervised drug test. The monkey dong urine formula is unisex (both men and women can use their urine in drug tests). However, the prosthetic penis add-on makes the product a male target. The Monkey Dong is silent, easy-to-use, cheap, and hassle-free.
Avoid buying from online retailers that display crazy discounts. Some of these retailers are fraudsters who may not deliver the product, and even if they deliver, it is obviously a gimmick. Make sure you order monkey dong synthetic from their official online store “Serious Monkey Bizziness”. You can also go for other alternatives like Whizzinator, Quick Luck, UPass, and Quick fix if Monkey Dong is not shipped to your location.